Saturday, 17 April 2010

An Unholy Backfired Plan


Sorry for the late nature of this post, we did have a number of evil schemes to enact and display this week but something terrible has happened, through entirely fault of our own, one of our brothers in malice is stuck on an island. and to make things worse the island isn't even evil, its actually rather pleasant, which as you can imagine is absolute torture for him. poor creature. How did your satanic traditions get you into such a pickle!? I hear you all cry. well, basically we were up in Iceland a few weeks ago, maxxin' relaxxin' etc and we were informed a volcano had gone off nearby. well, as per, when informed of pretty much anything happening anywhere we went and baptised it for satan;



Above is an actual photograph of that fateful day in march.

This caused the volcano to go from being a pretty chill normal volcano, to being a font of Lucifer's angry jealousy at the world. And what is the Dark Lord most jealous of? Well the angels' (and now mortals') ability to fly, so he sent up a huge plume of silica based smoke which choked all the angels to death and also just happened to ground the vast majority of air travel in northern and western europe. This in turn has lead to our cousin in catastrophe being stuck on Jersey, and has to get an 8 hour boat back instead. A nightmare for us and the wider cause of further darkening this otherwise airy fucking fairy world.
On the plus side, the english channel hasn't been baptised for Satan yet...

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