Wednesday, 28 July 2010

I hate myself and want to fry.

You may have heard the term 'Deviled Eggs' and thought "I wonder what that means, I wonder if its some sort of egg based dish that is fully endorsed by Satan and created by his minions." Well you were correct to wonder and when you wondered you wondered correctly. Whilst 'Deviled Eggs' are indeed a Satanic but easy dish created as a breakfast snack by Satanists across the world, with a little training anybody could make it.

Thus today we are going to spread the love by showing you how to make the tricky treat.

First of all you need two people and an egg.
Write some incantations on the egg. We kept it 21st century and wrote our incantations in txt spk. This time round? "S8& 4 LYFE".
If you deem it necessary your second man can be eating a pot noodle. But we leave that up to you. Shouldn't change the taste of the egg too much.

Here is a cooker. You need one of these too.
You need to fry the egg on the hob and mutter whatever dark thoughts come straight to your mind.

Finish cooking the egg and magically the yolk is black and there is an upside down cross on the egg. Solely because of the incantations. Incantations are bloody powerful things. Make sure you make them extra evil or the yolk will just be grey.
Also ignore the paint in the background of that photo. It is unrelated. It has nothing to do with the egg. Ignore it.

To verify whether the egg is truly evil show it to a dog that has been baptised for Satan. If the dog likes it you have succeeded.

This particular evil dog gave the egg an astounding review.
In fact he offered us both jobs in his local evil restaurant, we had to turn them down because we suspected he was lying. I have never met a dog who owned and runs any restaurant, let alone a successful one.

S8& 4 LYFE

In other news we are thinking about starting a band called ANTIQUE RICED. We will do Satanic covers of early 90s pop songs. If you are interested e-mail us to commission a song.

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