Tuesday, 10 August 2010

"But don't pray with me, 'cos you're prayin' with fire"

Unlike other deities who do sort of what they like, when they like in regards to answering prayers, our focus of worship not only makes everything we ask of him come true, but ensures that it is a huge exaggeration of what we wanted. Often taking it way out of hand.
This was true recently when we prayed for a fire, because the woods we are living in had gotten chilly. We had built a bonfire out of trees we had chopped down, however we were without a source of heat. Fortunately we knew one person/tormentor of souls who could help us, and gave the fucker a ring.

Here are all the trees we chopped down for the bonfire.

Here is Tar'lor celebrating the completion of the chopping.

Here is Bai' NarghmBuul praying for flame to light up our hard work and keep us warm.

Unfortunately the Antichrist was not immediate with granting our request. The next day, however, we were awoken by a series of painful and vivid hallucinations of Bruce Springsteen cassettes dancing in front of our eyes wherever we looked and telling us to head East. Head East we did and what we saw was a billowance* of smoke drawing us towards the magnificent work the Lord of the Underworld had created for us and us alone.

* "billowance" is a word invented & copyrighted by Bleedingoursouls inc.


The is the sight that tempted us from our woodland hideout to the badlands of North-Eastern Kent. Note how our camera has somehow picked up our hallucinations of levitating Bruce Springsteen tapes too. Technology is amazing.

We near the smoke and throw some horns to show whatever is on the other side of the hedge that we mean no harm. At this point we are 98% sure that it is some variety of Nether-Dragon.

But it ent. It are a field on fire with like 4 fire engines and about 40 firefighters fighting the fucker. (click to enlarge and play spot the fire engines, theres at least one in each picture)

We quickly thanked the Devil for his wonderful gift of flame and chaos, even though it was now not night and we were no longer cold. No need to look a gift horse in the mouth though, especially if said horse is a gift from your boss.

To show our thanks we threw horns at and around the fire.

Tar'Lor showing our visually impaired readers where exactly they need to look to see this 'fire' we have been talking about.



We stood and watched until the human scum managed to quell the Underworlds fiery magnificence beneath their water cannons of gaylordery* then we returned to our woodland lair to see what the human scum media had to say about the days events.

*'gaylordery' is a word invented and copyrighted by Bleedingoursouls inc.

click to enlarge, arse-scrapes.

They somehow knew that we indirectly had something to do with it, from this point on we knew we would have to keep a relatively low profile. They knew the power we possessed, and obviously they feared it.

NEXT WEEK WE BAPTISE SOME CHICK AND SHE LOVES IT.

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