Wednesday, 25 August 2010

There may be trouble ahead...

You guys; Why may there be trouble ahead, well respected Denizens of Lucifer and his infernal armies? Tell us you have not baptised all roads in his dark name and caused them to cease being traversable by our mortal automobiles?
Us; That's precisely what we've done, fuckshirts. Find your pipe, stick this in it and puff away.

'Good luck getting to Reading, gaylords.'


Roads are all linked, that means if you baptise one you baptise them all. If a road isn't linked to another road then its called a runway. not a road. As such in the above picture we have proved we have baptised all the roads on this island. This island being the island of Great Britain (aka Mega-England.)

When a road gets baptised something called a 'functional reverse' occurs. Its all very complex and I don't expect you to understand it because you're all notoriously stupid. As such I won't bother explaining it in great detail. effectively though all the properties of the road are reversed. Instead of being black (awesome) they turn white (lametown). Instead of cars enjoying its smooth surface, cars grow fearful of them and refuse to start unless in thick woodland. Instead of draining rain off the roads start to collect rain in underground reservoirs called 'Barcleft-Poisonby Chambers' which they use later in the year for mischievous activities which differ from year to year but cock things up for everyone. Effectively everything goes to shit.

Next week we will do all the roads on continental Eurasia and Africa. Not as hard as it sounds as we actually just have to jump off the ferry in Calais and baptise the slip road.
Look at a map, they are all joined.

If it wasn't true would Tar'lor be celebrating so brazenly in a road like this?
He would not.
He hates celebrating and especially when he has to do it brazenly.
He means business.
Business.

("ooh ooh why are the roads not white in that picture and why is your car on it?" ooh ooh fuck off you slimy pedant.)

1 comment:

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