Saturday, 26 March 2011

Spring, ye shall not pass

"and it was written that once the guardians that preceded the coming of spring had all been destroyed, the eternal winter of his unholy rule could finally be celebrated'
Aleister Crowley - The Book of Belial

Year after year we are shocked and appalled as the nights getting shorter, brighter and warmer and the days grow longer start to be filled with happy smiling, semi clad humans. This happens annually and is called summer and it is shit. The opening stage of 'summer' is called 'spring' and this stands for 'summer prepares raising it's noxious gas'. A little known fact is that the days get longer and warmer because of an increased release of methane throughout spring from little yellow ground trumpets or 'daffodils'. Quite how the methane expelled from these holy appendages causes the days to grow longer and warmer is something I will leave science and google to explain to you, not a lowly Satanic priest such as myself. However it happens and ruins 6 months of every year for us.

Logic thus dictates that if we use our considerable powers of black magic to kill all GGTs then summer shall never begin. We used one of the most powerful hexes we know on a single daffodil first to see if they could feasibly be killed en masse.

Observe. One daffodil.
swear at it a bit to soften it up then perform some secret black magic.

aaand its gone.

so effective was our spell that we started to exercise our special brand of magic on the rest of the daffodils in the world, patch by patch.

however we eventually got tired.

secret black magic tires your arms out, so we only ended up killing like 40-45.

Pictured; Why Secret Black Magic is so tiring.

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