Thursday, 4 August 2011

Attempting to re-start the First World War via the medium of stickers.

The First World War may have been the world's most goffick war. It's not certain, there have been lots of very death metal wars, the most notable being the innumerable viking wars where huge axes, ridiculous helmets, full corpse paint and probably capes with upside down crosses on them were prevalent. However thanks to the sheer misery it caused to everybody even slightly involved and the fact that because of the mud everywhere it sort of looked like everybody had corpse paint on, we deem WW1 the most Satastic (thats fantastically satanic.)

plus look at this shit they were driving about. It's as if we fucking sponsored the whole thing.

With this in mind we decided to do everybody a favour and get the whole thing going again, I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that it's still only on a ceasefire or something?
I might have made that up.
Whatever. It means that it'll not take much to re-start it.
'As little as sticking bleeding our souls stickers to lamp posts near famous national monuments in the countries of the bad guys?' I hear you cry. Well we hope so because thats what we did. We assume that the bad guys, being the bad guys, will be more easily wound up than the good guys.

They'll be all like 'Who stuck all these Satanic stickers everywhere? fuck.'
and then they'll be like 'I bet it was those dickbars we had that ceasefire with that time back in the olden days, remember? that big war? yeah. right. It's back on, man. I'm so pissed off right now. I hate satanic stickers.'
And then we'll be like 'Sah-weeet' and rub our hands together with malicious glee.

Basically though we didn't do any particular research on who fought in the first world war but the Germans were definitely involved and we watched Gallipoli the other day so now know that the Turkish were involved in some capacity too.
(if you've never seen the film Gallipoli here is the trailer with Bryan Adams over the top of it)



So now sit back, relax, and wait for the first world war.

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