Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Halaloween



Too often satanists celebrate halloween by actively trying to piss off christians, whilst this is as fun as it is funny, we have taken a stand to make halloween more trans-religious. We would normally at halloween kill a few goats, drink their blood, summon some demons and run amok.
however this halloween we decided not only pump money into the local community but also annoy another chunk of the populace by buying sacred halal goats heads. They might not have been that sacred but lets pretend they were.
they didn't have much blood in them but we assumed that they would still be good objects to summon demons with by setting them alight with the fires of belial.
they weren't.

we got good vibes from the first goat's skull when we got him to the house. He was definitely not stunned before slaughter and gave off a sort of 'i would be a good aide to summon demons with' air.
We needed them both to be too, we'd invited loads of satanic sluts and other wizards to come to our temple so we could show off our summoning skills.

There was some minor conjuring for a while where the skull floated around the inner sanctum granting wishes, but only if the wish was ' I want to see a floating halal goat skull '




shortly afterwards they broke into flame of their own accord and started screaming their intentions to not allow us to summon demons because we weren't awesome enough wizards. then breathing fire on us whenever we tried to hit them into shutting up.

so in the end we were shown up by the halal goats heads because they were too imbued with the power of halal. next time we will stick to goats that have been killed in the traditional christian manner; in a church, by jesus, at christmas. talking of christmas we plan on trans religioning that too. the current plan is scientologistmas. but that may change. watch this space...

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